Sunday, September 17, 2017

High all the time.

High all the time.

Life feels infinite nowadays. I have a new job. I’m enjoying school. My therapist tells me I don’t need her anymore. Life is good. I’m moving forward and working towards everything I’ve ever wanted. Sometimes I slow down to take a breath and remember with all the good comes a bit of worry. When will this high hit a low?

We all have lows. It’s that places that makes us feel horrible. We hate everything. We feel bad about ourselves and anything we do. We wish for those highs. We want to rejoice. When we’re at a high sometimes we feel it’s too good to be true. Yeah. We’re all like that. It’s okay. We’re human.

When we’re at a low, there’s a lot we can do to bring our spirits up. This isn’t about low points. This is about high points.

Just remember these things:
     1.      You deserve to be happy.

Everyone deserves to be happy. Don’t let anything or anyone take that from you. Be the one steering the wheel of your life. Happiness comes from you. Be your reason.

     2.      Having a high point isn’t karma’s way of preparing for an attack.

I used to think if I had one good moment, everything would turn to shit. I used to think karma was a master at guerilla warfare. I was WRONG. I was the reason things fell apart. Instead of letting myself be happy, I took it away with all the worry I could muster up. I like to believe in karma. I let karma handle my dirty work. Just remember karma is good to you if you’re good. Be good. Do your best. 

     3.      Taking part in activities you enjoy and trying new things helps the good times to keep rolling.

I enjoy hanging out with my friends. I enjoy roaming cities for fun. I want to go to Disneyland and I would like to go zip lining. Do the things that brings a smile to your face. Live on the edge a little. You will create memories and live a life you want while doing so.

     4.      One dreadful day doesn’t mean rock bottom.

We all have bad days. It’s important to remember that a dreadful day is just a dreadful day. A horrible day doesn’t mean a horrible lifetime. A dreadful day is not the end of the world. Sometimes we have multiple bad days in a row. The world will find its equilibrium again.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.” – John Lennon

     5.       It’s okay to feel something other than happiness.

Happiness isn’t the only emotion we’re wired to feel, but it is one of the best. We’re human. How many times have I said that? It’s the truth. We’re not expected to be perfect. We’re not expected to be happy all time. I don’t trust anyone who says they’re happy 25/8. That’s suspicious. A little bit of everything is always healthy. Don’t be afraid to feel what you’re feeling. Embracing it will help you get through whatever it is. There’s always a pot of gold waiting at the end of a rainbow after a rainy day.

     6.      Enjoy this moment.

There’s no time better than the present. Sometimes we’re so caught up in things we forget that we are here and now. Life’s too short. Give yourself a minute and keep pushing forward. This moment will not be refunded. There are no go-backs. Come what may, but don’t waste the precious time you have stressing about things that can’t be controlled. Life will throw curveballs. Throw them back. This moment is yours. Now. Now. Now.

Anyways, I hope you're all having a lovely day wherever you are.

All the love as always.

Darianne xx

P.S. Has anyone told you how wonderful you are today? You're stunning. You're brilliant. You're lovely. I'min awe. Keep being amazing.


Thursday, September 7, 2017

Back to September

Back to September

It’s that time! New York Fashion Week has started. As usual, I can't hide my excitement. Tom Ford livestreamed his show last night. He never ceases to amaze me. I’m looking forward to watching all the shows I can. I downloaded the NYFW app to watch the shows live. I also have Vogue, Vogue Runway, and the M2M app for all things fashion and fashion week.

Fashion week is always interesting. My favorite thing about fashion week isn’t necessarily the runways. Of course, I can’t help but to be excited about the newest designs. My interest leans towards street style. I’m ready to see more than the models strut down the street in their best. I’m excited to see everyone’s style projected onto the streets of New York City. NYC is a very colorful city. Nothing is the same. Everyone is a canvas. Seeing everyone be the work of art that they are makes me happy. NYC is a giant, outdoor museum and NYFW is one of its annual exhibitions. Watch out Metropolitan. You’ve got competition. 

Another "from me to you" moment.

“In the cause of silence, each of us draws the face of her own fear – fear of contempt, of censure, or some judgement, or recognition, of challenge, of annihilation. But most of all, I think, we fear the visibility without which we cannot truly live.” –  The Transformation of Silence Into Language and Action (1977) by Audre Lorde

Audre Lorde wasn’t speaking about fashion in this moment. She was a feminist who wanted women to speak up. She wanted women to not be afraid to be who they truly are. For the sake of this post, I am talking to whoever will listen.

A dear friend of mine recently told me that she would only feel comfortable with her flamboyant style during fashion week. She said it was the only time she fit in. Then she said, “Whether your style is flamboyant or minimal, be all that you are.” It took me over twenty years to be comfortable in my own skin and to love myself for all that I am. It’s not easy, but it gets better. It does get easier. You will be able to write a memoir or autobiography on the evolution of you. Repeat after me:

I am Vogue worthy.
 I am a true work of art.
I am worthy of being displayed at the MET, at the Louvre, and at the Uffizi Gallery.
It doesn’t matter if I live in one of the fashion capitals of the world or a small town.
I will not simmer down.
“see beneath your beautiful”
No one can take my shine away from me.
Not even I.

All the love as always.

Darianne xx ♥

P.S. Happy Fashion Month! 

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Lust List: Ready for Fall

Oh, Autumn, how I’ve longed for thee. I’ve longed for autumn since 26th December in the same way I’ve longed for Christmas since 1st January.  Spring was lovely. Summer was strange. It’s August now. August is half way done and school is quickly approaching. I’m excited. I’m excited about leaves changing colors, October, bold statements, New York Fashion Week, crisp air, crunchy leaves, dressing up. Oh, I can’t forget Pumpkin Spiced Latte’s. My mouth waters just thinking about it. 

Just like every season, there are things that I am lusting after and things I will acquire. To me, the months between September and February are it. Apologies to the other months, but these are the months I am inspired most by fashion. 
Lust List: Ready For Fall #1
Outerwear. Over the course of the next two months, temperatures will begin to fall. We will bring out the clothes we’ve been hiding for a while. So, what are falls must haves? We all need a classic jacket. My personal favorite is a classic black faux leather jacket or a brown faux suede jacket. There’s so much that can be done with both styles. Both can be casual and formal. I think bomber jackets are wonderful. Bomber jackets come thick and thin. They can be heavy or light. I’ve seen people wearing bomber jackets as coats in the winter. Bomber jackets are versatile and are a worthwhile investment. This year I’d like to acquire a camel coat. I’ve been obsessing for too long. I’ve already have the classic black wool coat. No worries there.
Jumpers. There’s nothing I love more than being cozy in my favorite jumper. Sweater Weather is almost here and I am ready. I look forward to my morning coffee/tea while being sat in my lectures. I look forward to rainy days. I’ve romanticized this time of year repeatedly. I don’t plan on stopping. I buy jumpers all year long. I don’t see why not. From knit to cashmere, I want it all. One can have a closet full of just that and be satisfied. Cashmere can be expensive, but it doesn’t always have to be. Cashmere is that soft, heavenly material that I touch and somehow want to drown in it. As if that’s possible. I would recommend both. 
Lust List: Ready For Fall #2
Tops.To start off a new wardrobe, one should have a cami, a blouse, a flannel, a sleeveless top, and a button up. T-shirts too, but we all have those without trying. A camisole can be used under another top or warn the way it is. A blouse and denim can be stylish and easy for any occasion. Day and night. A blouse doesn’t need a reason. They just want to be worn and loved. Flannels are always in. It doesn’t matter what season it is. The red and black lumberjack look is my fave. A sleeveless top for a girl like me means I won’t be complaining when it’s twenty-three degrees and I’m hot wearing only a t-shirt with a coat. *Queues rolling of the eyes* Button up shirts are boundless. My favorite things about button up shirts for summer and early fall is they come cropped. #Winning
Dresses. A few months ago, I bought a brown, floral dress from SHEIN. I am absolutely in love with it. I love wearing dresses. For fall, I switch it up by wearing bolder and/or darker colors. Bring out the burgundies and the canaries. I am so ready! A dress, no matter the season, makes me feel like a soft human being. A few days ago, I wrote about wanting to run around a bed of sunflowers in a little dress. I’ve become very comfortable in them. They’ve become part of the list of things I romanticize. Oops.

Lust List: Ready For Fall #3
Pants. I’ve come to love bottom pieces for all that they are. Flared jeans are my favorite if I want to throwback to the 70s. Skinny jeans are my usual. Mom jeans are one of my favorite type of jean. I love how casual they are. Then there are trousers. I LOVE TROUSERS. A good trouser is another staple piece for my wardrobe. Trousers can be funky, hip, and all that’s in between. Another item that’s worth spending a little cash on is leggings. Having faux leather or regular leggings is a promising idea if you’re the kind of person who wears leggings often. I’ve lived in them all summer.
Accessories. Everyone needs accessories. I absolutely love having different sized, shaped, and styled bags. I love totes. Totes are one of those universal things. They’re good for everything. I’ve recently fallen in love with straw handbags. Some of them give a very French vibe and others are just a simple, classy way to style your outfit. I want one! I also enjoy aviators. A good pair of shades can go a long way. Belts are one of the things I’ve grown to love recently. *Coughs* Gucci *Coughs* Now, I’d love to own everything Gucci released this season, but it’s not ideal for my budget. Therefore, finding an inexpensive brand with similar or equal quality is the way to go. Lastly, the choker. Chokers are very femme fatale. Chokers can be very feminine, but they can totally bad ass.
Lust List: Ready For Fall #4
Shoes. I live for shoes. Boots with block heels are my favorite. They go a long way. Plus, they’re comfortable enough to walk in all day. I personally live in ankle boots. I love thigh-high boots as well. They can be added with a simple outfit, but they can also be sexy. If I’m wearing jeans and a top, I’ll add a pair of these boots and suddenly I feel very model off duty. *Queues inner vixen* Hear her purr. I find Chelsea’s to work well with my minimalist look. Chelsea boots are that shoe. I am Harry Styles’ heart rate when he sees a pair of Chelsea boots. A bit dramatic, but I think you get the picture. Besides boots, there’s the classic tennis shoe. Everyone needs tennis shoes. I’ve seen a lot of people wearing Reeboks lately. There’s always the classic shell top Adidas and the classic white Chuck Taylor’s or pair of Vans. Take your pick.

No matter what we choose to wear this fall, it’s all about comfort. May you be the best, most extraterrestrial version of you. May you be super stylish and happy with all that you are and wear. To everyone returning to school this fall, good luck on all your endeavors. Happy almost autumn!

All the love as always.



Sunday, August 13, 2017

What is August?

What is August?

What is August?
On the surface, she’s warmth.
She’s amorous.

What is August?
August is a symphony of pages turning in an old, weathered book somewhere in the Parisian countryside.
She’s that one last hoorah.

What is August?
August: the smell of salt-water carried by a breeze
She’s the smell of burning firewood on a beach.

August starts off as a yellow sunflower that dances in the green of the land she was born.
She longs for September knowing she can’t delay.
She changes her stripes and leaves us with the burgundies and the browns.
August hums quiet promises of falling leaves.

August sees she’s the reason people crave October, but don’t fret.
She knows February justifies why she’s desired most.
She never truly says goodbye
Just au revoir.
See you later.


Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A dress is more than just a dress.

A dress is more than just a dress.

Get the Dress // Similar here 

For days, I’ve ran many scenarios in my head. One scenario consists of me wearing a pretty little summer dress and frolicking through a field of sunflowers. The thought of the summer sun kissing my skin and making me glow as I enjoy mother nature makes me happy. Another scenario consists of me wearing a dress like the one I am now and having lunch in the countryside of France or Italy. I’m daydreaming, fantasizing, and romanticizing all at once. What’s new?

It’s been awhile since I wore something I really wanted to share or talk about. I bought this dress months ago. It was the middle of the night. I was thinking about my myself and how comfortable I’ve become. I love the way this dress looked on the model and thought I could pull it off. #Winning This lovely dress that I am wearing reminds me of how much I love flowers. I feel beautiful in it. It’s my “lunch in the countryside” dress.

To be very honest, I love everything about it. I love the cut of the dress. I love the way it hugs my body. I love the way it looks on my chest knowing I have small boobs. Whenever I wear a dress, I want to feel confident. I want to feel like I’m about to strut down a catwalk. Wearing this dress made me feel that. I strutted everywhere I went. I felt good in it. Women kept asking me where I got my dress from. I got to spread the word about one of my favorite online shops. That’s always a plus.

I’ve worn this dress on multiple occasions. I get the same feeling every time. Every woman needs that dress that makes her feel beautiful. The dress that speaks to her and says, “You’re ready for the runway. You’re ready to be feature on the cover.” A dress is more than just a dress. A dress is a statement. This is currently that dress for me.

Do you have that dress? What does it say to you? How does it make you feel?

All the love. xx



Sunday, July 30, 2017

There's a change in pressure.

There's a change in pressure.

It’s Sunday again. Not that you didn’t already know. I don’t have any coffee and my mind is asleep. I’m contemplating canceling the entire day. I want to stay in the comfort of my bed which is not physically possible for me ( I get too antsy). The memories of this week still linger in the air. The decisions I made whisper to me like the cool, crisp winds of October. To say this past week was a big week is an understatement.

For the longest time I've asked myself, “Darianne, what makes you happy?” Then I would reply. “Well, I love books and flowers and autumn leaves. I love music and art and writing and fashion.” So, why not do something about that? Well…

There's been a change in pressure. It all happened on my birthday. On the 25th of July, I turned twenty-three. Happy Birthday to me! I woke up early and inhaled a cup of coffee like I always do. Just like I did on my birthday, I thought of uni. Over a year ago, I was extremely excited to be back in school. Heck! I am still excited for the coming fall semester. I remember writing about how excited I was to study business. News flash! I’m not anymore. Why? I was a business major in high school. I loved business. Turns out the passion for business isn’t there anymore, but don’t fret. I need a major change in my life. I needed to do what would make me happy. I need to change my major. I was so worried about not graduating on schedule. I was worried that I’d have to start over. I guess there are perks to starting out as a liberal arts major. I met with my academic advisor who also bought me a cake, and we made this change happen. Instead of a degree in business, I’ll receive a degree in English with a focus on Journalism. Indecisive. I know.

In the words of my family and friends, “You’ve been obsessed with reading and writing since you were a kid. How did you just now realize you’re passionate about it?” College is a bunch of trial and errors. Some get it right the first time. Others make changes until they feel it’s right. Reading and writing have always been my favorite things to do. This change will be a good change. Instead of forcing myself to pay attention, I’ll be more than happy to participate and write a paper (I love writing papers. Sometimes).

I hope all is well with you on this hot Sunday morning.

All the love as always.




Sunday, July 16, 2017

Gentle mornings.

 Gentle mornings.

Her body swayed, while she danced, as a plant sways in the water. - The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890), Oscar Wilde 

It’s the early hours of the morning. The sun is barely a whisper. The rays gently warm my face and kisses my cheek good morning. My eyes flutter open. My hair is a mess. My head slowly lifts as my eyes roam the room for an indication of time. It’s 6:27 a.m. and I’m not sure why I’m awake, but it doesn’t seem to bother me. I rolled over to my side hyper aware that there isn’t a layer between my skin and the sheets. I feel peace. I feel the love I have for yourself intensify as a small smile creeps onto my face. Sleepiness is still painted on my features as I breathe in and exhale. I feel like a work of art. It’s as if Botticelli painted me himself, but I’m still tired. The gentleness of the morning and the harshness of the sunrays causes my eyes to flutter and shut. Many moments pass before sleepiness conquers my being. The new dreams I have are about me and the sun being one. There isn’t much of a difference anymore.

An hour later, the sun danced in the sky. My body rejected the idea of more sleep. After heading straight to the showers, the coffee maker was turned on and coffee started to brew. Lana Del Rey played unapologetically in my ears as I made my coffee just right. My laptop was soon in arms reach as I fired it up. It’s that time of the week again. Sunday! How am I feeling? Gentle. What do I want to say? Be gentle. How? Write as if I’m writing a novel.

As Lana played and I typed away, the melody began to take control of my body. I twirled as if I was a ballerina. I danced so freely. No one is watching. How could I not? My giggles could be heard through my bedroom door as I went back to writing this or what was originally supposed to be this. I’ve never felt emotions this way. This morning is so tender. It’s touch so gentle.

Thinking about gentleness and how I am now got me thinking of the old me. That girl feels like ancient history though she is a recent ex. In the beginning, being gentle with myself was hard. I couldn’t give myself praises. Every mistake was another reason to tear myself apart. When I think of being gentle, I think of how kind a person is to themselves. Things have changed. I like to shower myself with love and compliments. “I look wonderful today.” “Self, you’re amazing.” “Excellent job today, Darianne.” I like to log out of life sometimes and enjoy my own company. Headphones in. World out.

My body has been intoxicated by the music playing in my bedroom. I’m under the influence now. How did I get to this state? Well, yesterday I had a “f*ck it” attitude about everything. It was mostly because this past week was just filled with anxiety. I had almost reached my limit and cried. It was only hump day when I found my journal after months of not using it.  I wrote and I wrote. It felt invigorating, but it wasn’t enough. Then today arrived.

It’s Sunday. I’m just about done. The gentleness that is Sunday morning has conquered all that I am. I’m mellow. I’m happy in this moment. I want to shout it to the world. Maybe I’ll whisper it to the summer breeze. Maybe the summer breeze will deliver my message to you. Maybe you’ll get it today. Maybe you’ll get it tomorrow or a week from now. I only ask this of you:

Please be gentle with yourself. 

All the love as always.

Darianne ♥


Sunday, July 9, 2017

Life as a hopeless romantic.

Life as a hopeless romantic.

It's 7 a.m. once more. As I am sat here listening to the rain and drinking my coffee, I let my attention mosey about. This morning I am typing away while listening to Someone New by Hozier. It’s quietly playing in the background as usual. The song itself reminded me of a conversation I had the other day. I’ll paint a picture.

My friends and I were sat in the school’s cafĂ© while waiting for our first lecture. We were discussing many things. Then love became a dominant topic we had to discuss. There were three sides to this discussion and the people involved chose a side. The first side believes a person can’t just fall in love. They believe love takes time to build. The second side was the middle ground. They believe in love at first sight. They also believe that it’s hard to really believe in love at first sight because of our generation. The people who stood in the middle then went on to say that they also believe love may be a figment of our imagination. Then there’s my side. As a secret hopeless romantic, I believe in love all around. I believe that love can happen instantly. A person can fall in love with a flower. A person can fall in love with the warm caresses of the summer breeze. A person can fall in love with another human in a moments time. Maybe I’m looking at things through rose-colored glasses, but I did say I am a hopeless romantic. I can’t be the only one.

Have you ever met someone who just took your breath away? It doesn’t have to be the way they look. I’m talking about the canvas they paint for you. The art in the gallery that is hung for you to perceive. The fine art that embodies who they really are. The soft silk of their words causes a movie to play in your head as you take in every adjective used to describe who they are. Maybe it was something instead of someone. A sunflower stood tall and slowly swayed to the warm caresses of the summer breeze. You wanted to pick it, but you knew that something that beautiful should be loved from afar. Maybe it was the cool kiss of the ocean on your warm, bare skin. Goosebumps became visible all over your body and suddenly butterflies fluttered around aimlessly in your stomach. It’s just the ocean, but in that moment the ocean is personified into something more. Love isn’t conventional. Falling in love isn’t conventional. There are no rules. Love has no boundaries.

While having this discussion, I challenged my friends to try it my way. I asked them to look through rose-colored glasses when they’re looking, viewing, and seeing life, people, and things. Somewhere along the lines, I’ll ask how it’s going for them. Maybe it's all the French films I've seen, but I encourage you and anyone else to try it out. I dare you. The world is more beautiful when we choose love. At least to me it is. Let me know what your thoughts are on the subject are.

All the love as always. xx

Darianne ♥


Wednesday, July 5, 2017

I'm dreaming of a place called Italy.

I'm dreaming of a place called Italy.

Wanderlust. It's probably one of my favorite words. When I was in the fifth grade, my teacher started the first day of class by passing around a fossil that she has. It's huge. It is so cool. Then the class found out it is ancient dinosaur poop. That pretty much set the tone for the year. My fifth grade teacher is a traveler. She would tell the class these cool stories. In my mind a movie would play as she laced every sentence with details of her trips. At lunch the class was allowed to stay in and watch Amazing Race. All the tasks they had to complete, the places they'd go, and the food the competitors would eat made me want to pack my bags and go. 

I still dream of backpacking through Europe and completing my extreme bucket list. I'd love to see everything. Besides turning into an adrenaline junkie, there are places I just want to lose myself in. From the mountain tops of Bolzano to the surrounding seas of Sicily, Italy is a true gem. 

Food & Places

If you know me, then you know I am a bottomless pit. I can just eat and eat. So, it's more than safe to say that I love food. There are some amazing Italian restaurants in New York. Some of the owners even move to New York from Italy. Thank you for that kind sirs and madams. You're food is incredible. There's nothing like authentic food.

Someday I'll go to Italy and eat all of these amazing foods. Obviously, Pizza in Naples is a must, but there's more than just pizza. I am not the biggest fan of tomatoes, but I think I'm willing to cave for some Bruschetta. How about some cheese, vegetables or beans instead? Lets not forget about pasta. Pasta is a must! Penne all'arrabbiata sounds about right. Trying local street foods will be fun. How about rice balls dipped in egg, flour, and breadcrumbs to then be fried into a tasty delight? Arancini di Riso in it's home of Sicily is something that should be experienced. My mouth is already watering. Now, I don't know about you, but I love carbs. Aren't they delicious. Bread is one of the most brilliant inventions ever. That brings me to Focaccia. Genoa is the place for Focaccia. Maybe you're like me and you are all for the dessert. Gelato in Rome and Chocolate in Turin sounds like the way to go. Even though food is the way to my heart, there's more to do than just stuff my face. Italy is more than just a place to get some incredible food. I did say Italy is a gem. 

Does anyone remember the Lizzie McGuire movie? As a huge Lizzie McGuire fan, I wanted to go on that adventure. The whole time her reality felt like an alternate universe. If that didn't make me want to go to Italy more than I already did, then the architecture and history sold me. The Fontana di Trevi is one of the most beautiful works of art I've ever seen (from afar). I want to make a wish there. Of, course there's the Colosseum and the Pantheon. I have to take a photo where it looks like I'm trying to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. How about sight seeing via the Grand Canal in Venice? A Gondola ride in the day and night should be fun. How cool is it to be in a Gondola while cruising around in Venice? #Winning. I can't forget about Florence. To be engulfed by Dante and Beatrice's love story would be a dream. There's also things like Ponte della Maddalena which is located in Lucca. The bridge is a work of art and its surroundings is just as beautiful. Time under the Tuscan sun is going to be wonderful.

As time goes on my list grows. Italy is one of my many dreams. Someday I will go and do all of the things I said I would. I will eat all the food I said I would. For now, I am allowed to fantasize about such a grand trip. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? What food would you eat? What landmarks or unknown place would you like to see? Before I go, here is one of my favorite Italian phrases:

Il dolce far niente.

All the love as always. xx

Darianne ♥

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